I hope.....

I hope you'll forgive me for my long absence.

I anticipate that this will be a difficult post...
I debated whether or not to even come here...

I decided though, that instead of worrying about what to write, who will read this and what will be thought of me, I'd simply come here to let my heart spill out over the keys.
I'd do it for me...

I feel like I'm on the verge of bursting into a million tiny pieces.
It's proving necessary to get some of my thoughts out of my muddled head, rein my emotions back in check and dissuade my soul from bursting beyond recognition.

My heart is aching so.....
This is what it ponders....

What do you do when you find yourself reaching the end of a path? 
The path I'm on now has been narrowing for some time and despite my efforts to scratch the overgrowth away, I'm losing the battle.
My fellow Gardentender seems to be willing to put down his rake entirely.  Our combined effort is just enough for us to squeeze through, though our legs and feet bleed with the thorns of Life's weeds.  These wounds are left festering with the pain and burden of neglect.

He discards the rake from time to time, and I pick it up in desperation to try to rake with both.  I hold it out to him and ask him to rake with me...beside me...together.
I tell him the weeds are tough, but together, we are tougher.  I explain that though the path may seem like it is not clearing at first, we have to believe that it will, because together we can make anything happen....

I cry in exasperation that he doesn't take the rake I'm holding out.  I yell in frustration that I seem to be the only one who cares about clearing the path.  I stop and glance back at our little girl who needs a path to follow, and I wonder if the time will soon come that I have to clear a different path....one that doesn't require 2 people, 2 Gardentenders, to maintain.

My fellow Gardentender has just one week left after giving him a month's thinking time to decide if he wants to stay, hold his rake with both hands and make our path wide and beautiful. To use love, trust and reconnection to transform the garden around it to one that is thriving and nourished.

This is the path I still want to follow.  One I can see so clearly in my mind that is just under the surface, waiting to emerge.  I wish he could see this vision with me.

Or.....we let the weeds overrun this path....and find new ones.
Another hard choice. One, in my opinion, seems so lonely...but, perhaps his destiny lies on a different horizon?

I hope, in a week's time....he decides to plant roots with me. 
I hope he is ready to do the hard work that we must both do to make our way through the weeds and mend the bandaged, bloody sores we've been ignoring.

I hope...
...but I'm storing up seeds, just in case.

 

A Special Mother's Day

I just came home from a cute little Mother's Day celebration at my daughter's school. The Moms are asked to stay longer in the morning to be presented with a gift handmade by the children and partake of morning snack of juice and muffins.  They had roses on the picnic tables and they sang a little song to us all... My daughter was sooooo excited I wasn't doing the whole drop off and run routine today..lol! And so the Mother's Day recognition begins....

Here's the gift she made....

This year is especially meaningful!

You see, as Mother's day is on the 9th this year, so does my Little Girl turn 4!  I get to celebrate being a mother on the very day I became a mother.... very emotional, to say the least :)

My husband and I had been married for 7 years (and dated for 5 before we married) by the time she came along...So it was both an adjustment...and a miraculous wonder!

My family jokingly called her Noname, because hubby and I couldn't agree on a name.  We didn't even settle on one til we saw her face....

Her sweet little rosey cheeked face...  We named her Magdalena Rose...Maggie for short :)

As you can imagine...I was so excited by the whole pregnancy experience.  A special arrival (and one my parents had given up on..lol) deserved a unique introduction.....and seeing as I had my own handmade greeting card business at one time, I got to work! 

I made her baby announcements by drawing out the celestial designs in black ink and photocopying them onto cardstock then hand colored each one with markers.

The writing around the outside says:
Starlight twinkles in her eyes...
Moonbeams kiss her cheeks...
Sunlight dances in her hair...

Then inside says:
Our precious girl is here!

What an intensely wonderful journey the past 4 years has been!  I've never learned more about myself then by taking care of someone else who's so much like me!  Let's just say, I  thank my husband daily for loving me ;-D  We just look at eachother sometimes while he's shaking his head stating matter-of-factly, "She gets that from you, y'know..."

"Yes, I know... but luckily she's cute, too!" I reply with an impish grin :)

Happy Mother's Day to all of you....may your children inherit all your good qualities...but if some of the more challenging ones slip in there...may they choose to learn from the lessons you have already experienced...

Hey, we can dream, anyways!
Smiles all around,
Cameron

Operation Hubby

Well, now the cat's out of the bag, I can tell you my plans for the month of February!

I endeavor to show my beloved Husband just how special he is to me this month. I hope he knows that he is incredible all year long, cuz I don't actually have the energy to do something out of the ordinary every day....but at least for this month, I wanted to try. And so, starting with the 1st, ending with the 28th, and commemorating all the holidays in between, I am giving my hubby something from the heart. Again, he probably would prefer something from the kitchen, but we all gotta go with our strengths, right? (wink, wink)

I made these little cards with sweet sentiments written inside and am hiding them in various places for him to find in the morning before he goes to work. He's started lining them up on top of the piano and I get a little excited to see if a new one has joined it's friends there when I awake in the morning. Should be quite a clan there by the end of the month!

It is taking some creativity and planning to stay on top of 28 projects, but I credit my renewed craftiness (get it...cleverness and artsiness) on The Creative Everyday Challenge. Besides, I couldn't have found a more worthy subject to bestow such happy work on! And, hey, I figured this beats my usual "luf u" mumbled in mid rollover from one side of my pillow to the other while he gets up early for work....and even better than if I mustered the strength to lift my head slightly to make him bend all the way down to receive my morning-breath filled kiss...yah, I'm feeling mighty sneaky, and smiley :) right now!