"Queen" or "Worker"?

Don't have a lot of time today. Have to be at work right at the start of my shift for 4 1/2 hours of massage. I was feeling a bit moody this morning (could be that I started my y'know what today) but less a crabbiness, and more like I'm in mourning of creative time with my self, free time here with you, etc. Decided it best to take out some old friends I used to consult from time to time to help give me some direction on days where I need a little nudge. I have found that they are useful to help me focus on one aspect of my life instead of stretching and stressing my mind on trying to keep up with multiple (and usually unimportant) issues for the day.

These are my Medicine Cards.....a sort of Tarot deck....designed with an emphasis on finding strength, lessons and answers from the examples in the animal kingdom. I liked the Native American look and feel of the illustrations....

So, I lit a candle, took them out from their hiding spot in my overcrowded bookshelf and spread the cards out before me. I filled my thoughts with a kind request, trying to be open and receptive to what it is I would learn today. "Why am I feeling such despair on missing out on creating this week? What do I need to know to keep from feeling this way so often?"

I drew the "Ant" card in reverse. I strongly believe in using the cards in contrary/ reverse positions, too. I shuffle my cards without looking at them, some being right side up, some upside down....letting them mingle and arrange themselves in whatever way they wish. Their position provides a lesson in whichever way they choose to present it.

I'm not so good at doing elaborate spreads and pondering many "aha's" at one time. So I just make a simple arc with all the cards, ask a question and pick a card. I read what it's meaning is in the corresponding book....and let the guidance seep into my consciousness....hopefully, giving me a chance to improve the way I'm currently handling a given situation.

In this case, I was feeling torn away from what I love to do, by what I have to do....like I'm losing ground when I don't keep up my posts or have something new to share.

"Ant" signifies Patience....and in the reverse, is telling me that impatience can be a silly thing. Greed and Fear stem from impatience. There is a natural order in Life, and not trusting it or myself can cause this unease.... Stress and urgency are unnecessary when relating to my art. Don't make mountains out of anthills! The art I want to create should be born of happiness and magic....not fear of being forgotten or a set number of pieces on my website that suddenly makes me "legitimate"

I feel a smile returning to my face....and better yet, to my heart, right now! :) Happy creating to all of you. Thank you for being a comforting shoulder, eager ear and providing boundless inspiration!